Matilda is a cheerful girl, and since her chemo stopped, in June, has been very lively, and hungry. She has been eating up a storm. She is also fragile. Her legs are weak, and her breathing isn’t great. She might have laryngeal paralysis. (She is thirteen and a half). But she enjoys her walks in the neighborhood and loves to go into a sniffing trance around flowers and grasses. Every person walking the sidewalk must be hers. Even when her long toothpick legs will hardly carry her any further, she must meet yet another person or dog.

I’m happy even when I sleep, and I love Kessie!

At home she enjoys her many dog beds and treats, as well as lots of  neck and ear “scritches”.  She loves her siblings, Livvie and Kessie, and adores having visitors.  Her quality of life is good.

She began limping a few days ago. This always signals anxiety for the guardian of a dog who has had cancer. She was due for her  monthly post-chemo-remission check-up, and it was discovered that her right shoulder was sore. Her oncology vet wanted to do X-rays. The wait was excruciating. At the end of the day, literally, her doctor told us that  there was no obvious evidence of fracture or bony tumors. What was observed was decreased bone density in her shoulder (in the humerus). The orthopedic evaluation revealed right shoulder laxity. Pain medication was  prescribed.  The radiologist report was pending. Of note also was that  she had lost weight, even though she had been eating very well.

This is Coby, my boyfriend. He came to visit me, but we ignored each other because Kessie was disapproving, and turned into a demon.

When she got home, she was no longer limping.

Today she is no longer limping, but apparently the radiology report has come in, and although I have not spoken with the vet yet, I was able to get the following information : The radiologist is concerned that the decreased bone density in her shoulder might be due to a cancerous process. The humerus, where the area is located, was not painful, but parts of her shoulder were painful upon palpation.  Tomorrow we will speak  to discuss how to proceed.

I am so sad that this might be a recurrence of her Lymphoma, or some other cancer. Maybe not? As I write this, Matilda is playing with Livvie and Kessie. It seems so odd that the process that could take her down might be traveling through her body at the very moment she plays with her siblings with such joy. I took a phone video of this loping about. I hope that I will be able to put it on this post, but if not, I hope I always have it. I look at this beautiful soul, this furry creature, and wonder how we develop these powerful attachments, these magical connections.

what can be said?