Kessie loved to sleep next to his big sister

Today was the second day waking up without Matilda. The empty spaces and the enormous silence loomed. My little doggies, Matilda’s brother and sister, seemed to be soundlessly moving in slow motion. Matilda’s presence had been gargantuan. A lithe, graceful creature, but always accompanied by little sounds. I could never get her nails short enough, so there was the click of toe nails on the wood floor. The slight rustling of the dog bed as she did her nesting. A groan here, a chatter there. The little whimper for a treat and then the full escalation to high pitched barks for treats.

Trying to integrate the absence brings confusion. The mind cannot fathom the absurdity and weirdness of death. How can a being be in your life one minute and disappear the next? Impossible to make sense of in the beginning. Thoughts strain to bring her back. I must leave her water bowl out, filled with fresh water. Maybe I’ll find that she has returned.  The shock of loss cannot let you put everything together…

Matilda loved to walk with Livvie and Kessie

Time is this thing that you know will help, and yet it drags and drags through pain. Patience and strategies for distraction are reliable companions for now.

** (Please visit Wordswithwieners.com site for a beautiful write-up of Matilda)