Sunday it was time to pick up Matilda’s ashes. I dreaded this; it deepens the sadness for a time. A friend met me at the wonderful hospital (Blue Pearl or NYC Veterinary Specialists) where Matilda had been treated. It is a sensitive and amazing place. At the desk was a young woman who had helped me a lot with getting Matilda in and out of the minivan. She had just heard about Matilda, and offered a warm hug. I thanked her and reassured her that Matilda had gotten an extra nine months of life from Blue Pearl, and that she was happy and active until the time of her death.
She brought the ashes to me in the famous fancy green bag. This time there was a clay footprint of Matilda’s paw! I was very pleased, because I had never gotten this for any of my past four-legged companions.
“I see my old boy when I look into his eyes”.
My friend and I decided to go have a nice dinner. As we were walking around my old neighborhood, I suddenly saw two greyhounds! It was Monkey and Turtle, two gorgeous brindle greys I’d met years ago. We all said hello, and their human remembered Matilda. As I babbled on, he said, “You just have to take the time to grieve. No one can tell you how long it takes.” We all nodded. Then he added, as he looked into beautiful Turtle’s eyes, “I see my old boy when I look into his eyes”.
Picking up the ashes is always hard. There’s a finality to it, but also, I feel a bit of relief, because they’re finally back home with me. I’m glad you met some friends at a time when you needed it!
That is almost exactly how I feel. I have her on my night table, and now when I miss her, I touch my fingers to her paw print.
Mom hasn’t done that, but she has only lost one dog. She isn’t sure if she wants ashes or not, but I’m sure it is very hard picking them up.
Yes, it is hard. This time it was made easier by going with a close friend who is also grieving Matilda. When you get the ashes home, you do feel a little like they are with you now. A bit of heavy weeping happens at first, but then, it is a bit comforting.
We share in your loss, but I find that once I bring their ashes home, I have closure – I then ALMOST IMMEDIATELY, get a ‘sign’ from them. We lost our beloved best boy Wookie in July, and as soon as I brought his remains home, they weren’t even in the memory cupboard yet – A SIGN. That’s my boy. Hang in there honey – the hole in your heart will mend and fill with love again.
Thank you so much Amy, for the compassionate comment. Yes, I do feel a little closer to her now that I have her ashes. Thanks again.
I remember that day for me because it would have been my Half Pence’s birthday. I brought his ashes home on his birthday. We all have to walk this road when we give our hearts to pets. But, they give us so much more so the sadness we have to endure is the price we pay. Blessings
Sweet William The Scot
Lee, you say this so well. That must have been gut-wrenching. We have to be so brave when they go. It really is a loss that goes beyond what many of us experience with other losses.
It can’t have been easy to go and pick up her ashes, so I’m glad to hear you were treated so kindly, and the pawprint was very thoughtful. (((Hugs)))
It really does help to be treated so well, and that they knew Matilda so well and loved her so much. For six months, she was there once a week for the day. They all fell deeply in love with her.
Such a bitter sweet day. It’s good to have them home, but still so very sad. Hang in there.
Yes, we all know this time. An excruciating but necessary time to get through.
I know it couldn’t have been easy picking up Matilda’s ashes, and I’m so glad that a friend was with you.
I’m certain it wasn’t just coincidence that you ran into those greys afterwards… it seems like Matilda was reaching out, reminding you that she is still with you wherever you go and that you can still see her through other hounds.
It felt that way. I just couldn’t believe that of all the people and dogs in Brooklyn to turn up, they did. It felt auspicious.